“Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem.” Lauryn Hill, “That Thing”, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. 1998

TRUTH. Have you ever been in a situation where you sold yourself short? Perhaps you were in the middle of a business deal, and did not demand a rate of return or percentage that was comparable to your credentials or the work you put in. Maybe you were in a relationship with someone, they took advantage of your kindness, and you did nothing about it but let it go on for too long.  Or maybe there’s a friend that you have who takes more than they give; they see you as a dumping ground for their problems, but they are nowhere to be found as soon as you need them to listen to you. We’ve all been in these situations before.  In fact, I bet many of you reading today’s DDR are in a similar situation right now. I’m not afraid to say that I have been in predicaments where I’ve sold myself short. I’ve done it in the workplace. I’ve been the listener way more than the talker in friendships. And I’ve been the giver and sacrificer in relationships that eventually went bad as soon as I decided to push towards more balance and reciprocity.  I think all of us at some point in time may have dimmed our light in order to make someone else feel better. Why? Probably because we want to seem modest and not arrogant. Or maybe because we want attention or a promotion, and think if we give a person or an employer or a supervisor what they want then we will get what we want in return. Unfortunately, this is not how the world works.  In my experience I’ve learned no matter how hard I work for someone it is my responsibility to ensure I get what I put into it. I’ve learned that humility and modesty are not the same, that modesty is overrated, and there’s nothing  wrong with confidence. In fact it is a CONFIDENT HUMILITY that is the key ingredient for achieving God’s glory.

Dr. Asa Hilliard, my master teacher (RIP), gave me an excerpt from Nelson Mandela’s 1994 inaugural address. Borrowed from Marianne Williamson (A Course in Miracles), Mandela said “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,” but that we are “powerful beyond measure.”  And that “it is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Like my mom always told me growing up: “Get out of His way.” And whenever I did is when I saw progress and growth.

The DDR: If L-Boogie Lesson #1 is PICK UP YOUR MICROPHONES, then the second rule of engagement is DON’T BE A HARD ROCK WHEN YOU REALLY ARE A GEM.  In other words, (1) never dim your light to accommodate the needs of others. Let them bask in their own insecurities. “There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you” because “We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.”  How do you manifest the God within you? Happy Monday.