Man Charged in Ex-Girlfriend’s Death: MyFoxATLANTA.com

“I thought he was the wonder, and I was stunned by his lips. Taking sips sipping Amaretto Sour with a twist. Shook my hips to the bass line, this joker grabbed my waistline. Putting pressure on my spine trying to get L-Boog to wind. I backed up off him then caught him with five fingers to his face. I had to put him in his place. This kids invading my space… M to the A to the S to the K. Put the mask upon the face just to make the next day. Brothers [and sisters] be frontin’. Then they be runnin.” The Fugees , “The Mask”, The Score. 1998

JUSTICE. This isn’t how I wanted to use this verse from “The Mask”. I wanted to focus on the social aspect of the song.  As a matter of fact it wasn’t my plan to even get into the domestic stuff until next week. But Lauryn’s verse spoke about a dude that was all up in her face disrespecting her space who ultimately had a girlfriend. The dude she knew, but couldn’t place because of the gold fronts he had in his mouth.  The girlfriend – like the “Golden Child” – tried to act hard and diss Lauryn like she didn’t know her man was trifling.  They both “wore the mask.”  Her verse reminded me of two very disturbing stories I came across yesterday. After hearing the details, I could not help but shift today’s DDR.  One story was of a mother who was found dead in the trunk of a car in nearby Clayton County. According to investigations, the mom was fatally struck by her daughter’s boyfriend.  That wasn’t the total kicker for me.  What struck me at the core was the daughter helped her boyfriend clean up his mess. They put the mother in the trunk on a Honda Civic.  What?!!  How does a daughter aid a total stranger in the killing of HER mother?  Then I heard about another lady who, in the midst of a custody exchange, was shot four times by her baby-daddy in front of their two children. This was in North Fulton county.  He was so nice to drive her to the hospital after he blasted her twice in the face and twice in the neck. How sweet of him. And I say that with as much cynicism I can muster up.  How does this happen?  Because folk CRAZY!!  That’s my first response to this question. My second response is Folk CRAZY!!  They “wear the mask” to try and cover up who they are.  And wearing the mask is not always an unhealthy strategy for moving through the world as long as no one gets hurt. But then there are those other times when we see glimpses of game and mental illness in the people we meet and associate with, and for some reason we just deal with it or we ignore it.

The DDR: Where is the justice in both of these tragedies?  Everyone is behind bars now, but I’m not sure that counts as justice. Perhaps there is none. May these ladies rest in peace.  And may God have mercy on their murders. What can we take from this? PAY ATTENTION!!  Domestic violence is REAL ladies and gentlemen. There’s a reason God gave us the gift of intuition.  That voice inside our head is real.  We must listen to it. We must be careful with whom we associate. We must be careful to take note of who we work with and how we work with them.  We must be choosy to lay down with just anyone.  We must watch how a person responds to conflict. If it includes a lot of hoopin’ and hollerin’, dissin’ and dismissin’, name callin’ and weapon-pullin’, more than likely that is NOT the man or woman God has for us.  And a man or woman that disses the MOM or DAD? Oh hell naww!! They gots to go because it will get worse before it gets better. Someone who disses your family isn’t worth your time because they will eventually diss you.  PAY ATTENTION to the glimpses people give you of themselves.  PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE even when they think they WEAR THE MASK.